Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
