I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
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this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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