hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
