i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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