you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
