you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
