Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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