She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
