I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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