3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
