Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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