Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
