She's JV to your varsity
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
