Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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