it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize