Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

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  (804): You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world. http://tfl.nu/i0as
  Replies (13) Good night (2542) Bad night (1046)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

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  (301): Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/iw4x
  Replies (33) Good night (1317) Bad night (3529)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..

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  (443): 8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath.. http://tfl.nu/przo
  Replies (44) Good night (3691) Bad night (1798)
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  (323): View more from California

  No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.

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  (323): No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested. http://tfl.nu/53oj
  Replies (6) Good night (5135) Bad night (911)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.

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  (781): I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece. http://tfl.nu/l6if
  Replies (10) Good night (899) Bad night (6367)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works

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  (978): he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works http://tfl.nu/o828
  Replies (11) Good night (4542) Bad night (1930)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  That's practically a relationship for you

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  (479): Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week. (1-479): That's practically a relationship for you http://tfl.nu/hhkc
  Replies (26) Good night (2086) Bad night (1112)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear

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  (305): I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear http://tfl.nu/5rok
  Replies (1) Good night (1882) Bad night (726)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?

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  (585): Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/z6wh
  Replies (13) Good night (1422) Bad night (694)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.

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  (325): I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol. http://tfl.nu/32t0
  Replies (1) Good night (1365) Bad night (596)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up

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  (403): that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up http://tfl.nu/icv6
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (793)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"

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  (651): ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering" http://tfl.nu/5vg0
  Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (606)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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  (727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa
  Replies (10) Good night (580) Bad night (502)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"

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  (303): All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over" http://tfl.nu/zffi
  Replies (3) Good night (1241) Bad night (446)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.

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  (773): my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vpt2
  Replies (3) Good night (1294) Bad night (421)

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