In the future we'll all be gay
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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