ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

  Fav 35 2151 2995

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

  Fav 9 3571 1035

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (517): View more from Michigan

  just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

  Fav 27 1642 5127

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

  Fav 6 4535 1283

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

  Fav 36 6537 1526

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm full of awesome ideas

  (972): View more from Texas

  Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...

  Fav 20 4894 1568

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

  Fav 17 2221 902

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

  Fav 19 977 5243

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka

  Fav 8 2135 1075

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.

  Fav 2 854 621

  share tweet
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

  Fav 4 562 699

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.

  Fav 3 1121 526

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast

  Fav 1 93 153

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.

  Fav 3 109 138

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....

  Fav 0 33 3

  share tweet
  

Randomize