so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time