He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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