i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just want nice things and good sex
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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