Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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(214): View more from Texas

Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

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(738): View more from

I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.

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(216): View more from Ohio

You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You were trust falling into bushes

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