if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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