We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
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You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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