I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
