He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
