Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
