I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
