My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
