i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
