We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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