I faked an abortion last night.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
