We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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