Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize