Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
