overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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