Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
