Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
