I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
