Whod you bang
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you had me at cake vodka
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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