Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
