piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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