Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
