Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
