So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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