And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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