peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
