someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
