a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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