and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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