he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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