Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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