Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
