I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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