Do vagina's smell?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
