I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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