im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
