Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize