i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
how does that bad decision feel?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
