Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
