I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
