you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize